AEW Dynamite: I’m Thankful
Huh? Wait what? What do you mean I haven’t written a blog in two weeks? I’m sure I did. I wrote this whole thing on Hangman Page and… oh… wait. I am starting to remember now. Hold on, let me clear the beer cans and the confetti and the banner out of the way. I might have celebrated a tad much after Full Gear.
Why is there a pillow on the floor in my office? What the hell am I wearing? Have I been sleeping in here? Oh wait.
*Flashback dissolve*
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND NEW AEW WORLD CHAMPION: HANGMAN ADAM PAGE!”
Narrator: He’d been stone drunk celebrating the success of his current hero for weeks since the scripted athletic event occurred on PPV. His wife knew that if she let him do this long enough, eventually he would wake up. He has, and now has to deal with the consequences: a stiff back, three dogs and a wife who won’t look at him the same way they used to, a massive credit card bill for all the swag and booze he bought and an empty blog where he should explain himself.
Okay that was weird. That was weird right? Not sure if that bit worked or not, but I wanted to try to do something different. Real life, my wedding anniversary and Thanksgiving got in the way of my regular circulation. Do not fret however dear reader, I have returned to you. I know you missed me.
Narrator: They didn’t.
Sigh. I think he’s going to be with us for today.
What was I saying? Oh yes. I have returned and it is time to recap Dynamite.
We start with our first course of the evening and it looks like a great way to do it in Chicago: CM Punk’s coming out to pop the crowd. I wasn’t aware he was wrestling someone, there wasn’t really any hype for it as far as I remember, but my memory is terrible.
Narrator: It is.
Would you shut up? Anyway Punk in Chicago is a thing to see isn’t it? Well… Oh. Oh my. I forgot (again) that this started last week. CM Punk vs MJF. Max isn’t in trunks though and Punker is. Wait… are we starting Dynamite with a promo battle between CM Punk and MJF?
Oh. Oh my. Oh my oh my oh my.
Let’s sit back and enjoy this.
Woof. That was something wasn’t it? Lots of shots as comparisons to WWE, just sharp acidic barbs at one another with all the fire and controlled passion you’d expect from these two. I’m going to have to watch that a few times over to pick up on all the references these two just laid out. The Tony to have a daughter line was particularly nasty. That was just brutal by both sides. The disappointed in you line from Punk was like a father looking ashamed at his son for a bad grade at school.
This is only going to escalate. We get to see that too. Anyone else swaying back and forth in giddy excitement for that?
Which is the polar opposite of how I feel about the actual match that is happening right now: Punk vs QT Marshall. I mean, I’m sure Punk will get something good and Marshall can bump pretty well but like… QT Marshall? Does anyone care about this guy?
Narrator: No one does.
Thank you! So this should be a squash, and it isn’t because The Factory is getting in the way. The ref sees this and sends them to the back. Well done ref. Eventually we go to break and Picture in Picture.
Back from break and… well… QT is getting in WAY too much offense for my liking. Well okay, fine, go and make a story of it JR why don’t you? MJF got Punk all out of sorts and it affected him in this match. Okay fine… that was well booked to sell MJF and show the amount of impact he can have on the mic, even against an all timer.
Backstage it is Jurassic Express with Christian Cage. They remind everyone how they have a ton of confidence from beating Bobby Fish and Adam Cole. How my wife’s favorite Jungle Boy has beaten Bobby Fish twice. How they are the #1 contenders for the tag titles. Christian says he will make sure they win the tag belts. That this time is different.
I’m loving this pairing of JE and CC. Jungle Boy has come leaps and bounds on the mic since this started and I’m glad to see it. Will they beat the Lucha Brothers? Probably not. But something tells me it will lead to them turning on Cage after he pulls some chicanery.
Back from commercial and hey look! It is the guy who belongs here: Eddie Kingston. He seems annoyed that a promo is needed in his place of peace and he starts up like the pro he is until 2point0 and Daniel Garcia walk up to hype the match Friday on Rampage.
This entire promo, like so much he does, is all about Eddie Kingston’s face. He is every worn out person just trying to have their food in peace while some ass hat talks to them endlessly, trying to talk about how things aren’t the way that they could be. That said ass hat is here to help.
OMG. “You’re not hungry Eddie.” Kingston, exasperated, points to his food mouthing mouthing “What about this cake?” That is one of the most wonderful moments I’ve ever seen in professional wrestling ever. EVER I TELL YOU. Ever.
Then Daniel Garcia throws what seems to be a hot beverage in Eddie’s face and the red mist descends. Security is there almost immediately to try to prevent a brawl.
That was… man. Eddie Kingston am I right? He’s up against Garcia in the match and 2point0 in the promo bit, so he has good people to work with, but Kingston owned that promo just by looking annoyed. That was incredible work by a guy I’m marking out for, sure, but still. How can you watch that and not relate to him?
Narrator: You can’t.
Damn right, thank you for jumping in. It is nice to be validated. Let’s see what’s next. Oh. Why is this on Dynamite? Bear Country vs. The Gunn Club. I guess Gunn Club is getting a bit of a push by being fed to Darby and Sting?
Okay, that flying shoulder tackle by Darby while a smirking Sting stands there like a proud father was just wonderful. Like my podcast partner from Main Event Meeples, I love Sting. Guy is just all the little things to tell the story in a big package.
Now we get a promo for Battle of the Belts on January 8. That should be interesting. I guess that’s the January event.
Backstage Adam Cole and Bobby Fish are pissed off about how the last two weeks have sucked and how much things haven’t been well aligned. They should be tight, because they are best friends. Then, out comes the Best Friends. Adam is incensed. Irritated, yelling Adam Cole is just the best isn’t it? Also, nice touch by him to remind everyone else that Chuck Taylor’s partner Trent is still around some where. After some jawing, we have what looks like a future match setup between Wheeler Uhta and Orange Cassidy vs Adam Cole and Bobby Fish.
Next, after the break, BETRAYAL! Donte Martin, again looking like the shell of a human betrays Lio Rush!!! How could he? They’ve been friends for what? Three weeks?
If this leads to a match between Rush and Donte, oh my. That will be fantastic. Also, it keeps Team Taz relevant beyond just being the commentary team on Rampage. I know they keep saying that Ricky’s neck is fine, but it is starting to feel like when they said forever that The Elite or The Bullet Club were fine.
Narrator: They were not fine.
Exactly my point! Also the moment when Hook offers Dante some of whatever is in the bag he’s eating from is Orange Cassidy levels of silly yet bottom of the ocean understated.
Now, our women’s match of the night. Our ONE women’s match. Man they do this division dirty. Jamie Hayter comes out and looks buff all while she has her back up in the DMD and Reba. This is a TNT Championship match and her opponent is THUNDER ROSA.
I know people (at least my podcast partner at Main Event Meeples anyway) wants Tony Khan to pay for Thunderstruck, but I really love hearing the drums and then “THUNDER ROSA!” I would hate to see it go away.
These two are going to beat the hell out of each other. I’m going to put my feet up and watch this.
Man this is great. Just stiff as hell and exactly the kind of match you’d expect from these two. Of course Britt and Rebel get involved because Rick Nox could get distracted by a fly.
Okay little thing that makes wrestling better: Rosa has Hayter pinned after the Casa Dora, but as the count progresses she sinks the pin in further making sure to keep Hayter down. Remember, it is the little things that make wrestling special. That was awesome.
Another little thing: Britt Baker wearing the Jordan’s to give you a subtle reminder that she is Superkliq adjacent. I mean. We know it… but it is a nice little reminder.
Great match between two excellent competitors. We could have more of this if you wanted Tony Khan. There is at least one more match that you could show a week. Perhaps instead of giving The Gunn Club a push? Hmmm?
Narrator: He’s right.
Thank you again. You are agreeing with me way more than I expected you to.
Narrator: I’m as shocked as you are. But after all I’m just a voice in your head.
Wait what? Never mind. Next up Le Champion is talking to Marvez back stage. He is interrupted by 2point0 and Daniel Garcia. Jericho isn’t fond of being interrupted. He starts what looks like an upcoming feud. Nice.
We get a backstage segment to setup a match between DMD and Riho on Rampage. This is just gold, with Schivani ruining everything! The chemistry between these two with Rebel just aping for the camera behind them is gold. Just gold I tells ya.
Hey it is the Dark Order’s music! Out comes Colt Cabana to get a home town pop his veteran ass deserves. I would argue that there are two god father’s of AEW: Matt Cardona and Colt Cabana. That discussion to come on episode seven of Main Event Meeples wherever you get your podcasts!
Anyway, this is a nice gesture by Tony Khan before Bryan Danielson comes out to kick Colt’s teeth from his head. Colt’s a lot of things, but on The American Dragon’s level he is not.
Oh hey, I just remembered why this entire thing is happening. That’s right, it is because everyone’s favorite Anxious Millennial Cowboy AND NEW AEW WORLD CHAMPION Hangman Adam Page didn’t take a match against Danielson last week. Poor Dark Order. You guys are such great friends only to get mauled by a tiny bear until Tony Khan books the match.
So far this is an excellent, competitive match between two guys who know one another really well. That is until Danielson gets a little control and starts putting his boot to Cabana’s face. One LaBelle lock later and Colt Cabana is out.
We go to commercial and a drama is playing out wonderfully on the Picture in Picture. Danielson picks something up and then Colt starts feeling around in his mouth. I guess The Dragon did kick some teeth out. He stands there holding it up showing it off to the crowd. Danielson is a hell of a malevolent heel when he wants to be isn’t he?
Back from commercial Tony Schiavoni is in the ring interviewing Danielson in the ring. Bryan takes the mic from Tony and cuts a wonderful promo including a great use of the word fickle. Then, because professional wrestling promos are actually dark summoning magic, upon Danielson speaking his name, out comes your AEW World Champion, Hangman Adam Page.
Narrator: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Thank you. Hangman is dressed to fight in full gear. He challenges Danielson to a match right now. The Dragon says no and then we get a stare down and a little bit of a fight. I think this match might be hot fire. I think this is a big proving ground for the Hangman. Does he have the fire to beat probably the best wrestler walking the planet? Can he outshine the man? I think they are going to give it every chance they can to make it happen.
Next, our main event (meeples), an eight man tag match between Cody and El Triángulo de la Muerte vs Andrade El Idolo, FTR and Malakai Black. We start with Black’s entrance and it is as spooky and foreboding as always. Then the bizarre juxtaposition of FTR’s Midnight Express tribute music. Lastly Andrade’s black mask. Excellent intros all.
Good way to save time, having El Triángulo de la Muerte come out as a unit. Nice reminder that they are one after a long time being a bit estranged. Then, Cody. I… I… I don’t know how to say this.
Narrator: He still love’s Cody’s entrance.
I do. I do. *sobbing*
Narrator: It’s all right. We all have our failures in life. I for example think AEW should throw all the money in the world at Toru Yano to head their DVD Marketing division while he splits time winning the tag titles alongside Colt Cabana.
Uhm. That’s an idea that probably needs to stay in your head.
Narrator: You mean our head?
This is getting uncomfortable. Let’s watch the match shall we? Hey look, it is seven of the stiffest bastards you could find and Cody all in one ring together. I wonder what’s going to happen?
Oh yeah, they are going to kick the piss out of each other. This is just the best ain’t it? Cody tags himself in and then becomes a heat magnet, taking a beat down in the corner which leads to Dax checking his wrist almost whistling when Aubrey finally turns around. That was great.
Rey Fenix is in and gets a double cutter to FTR. Harwood grabs his face afterwards and immediately goes to the outside. Did he get injured by Fenix again? That looked safe. Here’s hoping it was a good sell job.
Speaking of good sell jobs, check out our discussion of FTR vs The Lucha Brothers at Full Gear on episode 5.5 of Main Event Meeples!
The match continues. Rey Fenix does his thing and is just all the stiff. He’s going to eat a receipt one day and it is going to be rough. We cut to commercial.
Is that a commercial for Snow Piercer??? Do I get to mark out for the ads for that show again? It looks like it! Nothing can stop me!
Narrator: He wouldn’t stop this until March or April when the season ended.
In the ring to the right of the ads, Rey Fenix seems to be eating his receipt, getting thumped on by all four of his opponents. He is a stiff bastard but makes an amazing heat magnet at the same time. He finally makes a tag to Penta, right after Cody jumped to the floor. Hmmmmm….
I didn’t realize until just now that Andrade is wrestling in tights, not his usual slacks. With the high knee pads, it is a great look for him. I approve.
As I watch this, I’m realizing that Rey and Malakai have excellent chemistry. It is Shinsuke Nakamura in his prime Strong Style stiff, but it is excellent chemistry.
God. What a guy like Nakamura could do in AEW.
I uhm… I’ve lost my entire train of thought thinking about all the matches that could happen if a motivated Nakamura signed in Jacksonville.
What was I saying? Oh yes, the match. Things have gone bonkers as all the men have just beat each other senseless. Eventually this leads to an all manager stare down, up to and including Jose grabbing his junk before getting tossed by two old men.
After more insanity, Malakai gets the Black Mist on PAC giving Andrade the chance to hit the double underhook DDT and get the win. Poor Andrade… you won’t ever beat PAC clean will you?
So all in all, that was a really fun Dynamite. Time flew by. MJF and CM Punk are just getting started and I’m here for every second of it. That main event was insane and fun and just full on bonkers. Everything in between was a delight.
So, in closing, I am extremely thankful for AEW. They give me fun every week and a chance to escape into a great show while I don’t worry about the noise outside. I’ve seen three really good to excellent PPV’s this year along with one that is now in the running with WW17 for best ever. I had a blast this morning recapping it and I don’t see me stopping any time soon.
Narrator: He would not. Main Event Meeples
